spare time

perhaps the hardest part of every day is trying to figure out what to do with the spare time in our hands, there is just so much of everything we want to do yet when it comes right smack at our face we end up like a blank wall with nothing in mind while the clock counts away. almost every single being has been subjected to such predicament and more often than not is left wandering endlessly into the vast spectrum of the unknown – looking for answers that just won’t get any visualization.


we try and go through an array of choices and ideas as the situation of freedom arise in our midst from the piles of life’s chores and that so-called adult responsibility. images run through our head like rampaging bulls along the streets of pamplona and there is that immediate gush of excitement, that jacked up level of hastened urgency to just muster something to do at that moment.


and as we single out the activity and begin, time at this point changes gear and pushes up to speed. everything now turns into a pursuance, a race from which we extract all efforts to make, to do and even finish. it was never meant to be such yet because of how everything has been going on these days, one cannot avoid the fact that no matter how much regard we put into it – there is just isn’t enough, time.



a paranormal phenomenon


it would be impossible to grow up during the 80’s and never get to experience one of the iconic films of that decade (there have been a lot but this holds a place inside of me) – a film that shaped my love for movies and anything and everything related in between. folks let me introduce you to dr. peter venkman (bill murray), dr. ray stantz (dan aykroyd), dr. egon spengler (harold ramis) and mr. winston zedmoore (ernie hudson) – the ghostbusters. a comedic masterpiece of director ivan reitman that tackles the crazy paranormal activity going about in the city of new york.


from that famous library scene in the beginning, to their first stint at sedgewick hotel where they were first introduced to slimmer, to that climactic scene over the apartment building rooftop with the super sized stay puft marshmallow man. you just have to admit, nothing is quite like it – the scenes from this film are absolutely unforgettable (remember that scene with the mayor wherein they were explaining all the things happening in the city?) with catchy phrases and lines that just blows you up as it gets played (‘we came, we saw, we kicked it’s ass’) and we haven’t even touched the over-alls, the proton packs and ecto-1, everything is just so freaking cool and this was made way back when there wasn’t even CGI involved. with regards to the soundtrack, ray parker jr. delivered the anthem that has stood every air time on the radio for decades – who you gonna call?


the film celebrated it’s 30th anniversary two years ago (2014) since it’s release in 1984 and a special screening was made in commemoration, it would’ve been sweet though if dr. spengler was there to join them but i guess he had to take the call upstairs for another business to tend to…always remember – “we’re ready to believe you”



2016…the election that was, my overview


needless to say i am one amongst the many who never voted for the current strongman calling the shots in malacañang. actually the last polls were among the few times i pulled myself out of the house to exercise my right to vote – my hopes were high back then (even kept my fingers crossed for a good turn out) but after a tension filled count with matching controversies and the usual political drama, i was faced with the reality that there was never a light waiting at the end of the tunnel for my chosen candidate. yes folks a new era has begun, after all the smoke was cleared – one stood above all the rest. the so-called ‘coming of change’ motto took it’s first steps into public office and into the outstretched arms of it’s multitude of followers. it was a charismatic win for the mayor of davao city, who took in his grasp the ‘disappointments of the masses and failures of the outgoing administration’ and turned it into the most influential machinery that placed hatred and anger (among so many other things) into the hearts of his nazi inspired fanatics driven to lambast anyone who contradicts or even air personal sentiments against their ‘champion’. the unanimous victory came upon the promise of a drug and crime free philippines within a period of 6 months – a quite difficult task to undertake yet it was this that catapulted the status of the mayor from davao into ‘the promised messiah’ and not even the strong arm of the predominant catholic nation can change or curve a turn to their desired direction. i do not know what the future is for us as a nation nor have i any thoughts unto how the rest of the days ahead would turn out – a life in the current administration is here to make it’s often awful mark and inspite of all the foul mouth antics and bipolar activities we get to be subjected at together with a cabinet of arrogant and stupid imbiciles, in the end it’s his will and his will be done. GOD SAVE US ALL

the day i met rico blanco

it was december of last year as i recall and i was amongst friends and yvette coasting through an array of stalls at the third floor, west wing of shoppesville in greenhills – shopping was on the agenda that time for the mad holiday rush was already creeping upon us and just like most of the populace we have’nt done ours yet.

we had just gone through about 3-4 stalls of clothing, accessories and toys when i accidentally gazed upon rivermaya’s ex – frontman mr. rico blanco at one of the stalls looking at some of the merchandise and even conversing with the attendants, well it took us awhile before we got the nerve to come up to him but hey this is one of those make or break instances that we just can’t let slip pass our attention so we went for it.

at first we thought he was just like many of us at the time – shopping – and that he was also looking around – just like us – minding his own business and trying to figure out if the pants he was holding would look good on him (or something like that, i really don’t know) then we took turns greeting the guy and extending our hands in gesture and we found out that the store was actually his and that it was it’s soft opening that day – how lucky of us to be in that exact moment or was it fate?- he was introducing his line of clothing as a new venture outside music (hhhmmmmm, i wonder? i suppose creativity is just natural for him or maybe perhaps he thought being a rockstar and a fashion designer would be cool?….another hhhmmmmm) enough of that, well needless to say we bought ourselves shirts that day and had them signed courtesy of yvette’s resourcefulness and quick thinking – thank you so much mommy for the permanent marker –  took a lot of pictures and had one hell of a blast getting to know the man who’s songs made rivermaya a favorite (together with the e-heads, wolfgang, razorback and parokya among many others) of our generation. rico blanco belonged to the batch of bands who broke the 90’s scene and made rock music in the archipelago alive and kicking once again in full throttle.

he talked about his stint in an abs cbn evening telenovela though he never gave us any updates nor juicy info about his character (guess his lips are sealed), his current music status – songs he’s working on and upcoming gigs – and yes,  ms. kc concepcion (and of course the song that was inspired by her), his sister was also there to give support and was also as kind and accomodating as he was to us and to each and every individual who bought his merchandise that day.

rico blanco is simple and down to earth, soft spoken mostly and is not like the other musicians of his era (need i mention their names? i guess you guys know who they are….) that are so full of themselves and ‘loud’ at times. his music exemplifies the stories of our lives, our youth, our time and place under the sun – he’s the pied pipper to anyone that carries out the belief that music is the soul of our lives – which trully is.

it was a day worth remembering, a day i’m now including as one of my entries here in – ‘my so called life’ – a day that i shared with friends and my yvette….the day i met rico blanco – ROCK ON!

whatever happens….


at times there are just some things that cannot be explained or cannot be comprehended  no matter how hard we try to digest its contents….we experience events and get overwhelmed and enveloped by it’s intensity and effect on us – through our life and surroundings – but still inspite of the end result that leaves us searching for more answers….nothing can be explained, nothing can be grasped, nothing comes out of it.
there is a void inside, a hollow chamber that holds an endless uncertainty of questions, of speculations, of doubt and conspiracy….it holds us and binds us into helplesness, despair and sadness.
it devours our sanity and puts us in a downward spiral into oblivion – and whatever action we try to put into it everything is rendered futile….
our mind is pushed in a state of rejection, suffering – continuous shakedown, all that is left is defeat….
whatever happens, there is only one thing that is certain above it all – nothing comes clear until we go down and feel the darkness within

random thoughts in my mind



time has been passing along and has left
me wandering into nowhere,
i stumble upon pieces of my identity on the
floor where i have placed my foot on….
it does’nt look good from my vantagepoint
and it gets uglier as i get closer,
where is this all leading? i try and squeeze
out some answers from my already dilluted
mind but i still have to allow sometime for
images of light and life, of wonder and
promise walk by in a frenzy of display, i
could still feel the gush of joy that emits
from their form….should i stay here or
drift away into a room where i sit alone,
pondering about the things that i see – the
sounds of silence that disturbs me or the
cold and dark reality that creeps into my
skin everytime i wake up and open my
eyes….where does this all lead to?

i’ll go crazy if i don’t go crazy tonight


she’s a rainbow and she loves the peaceful life

knows i’ll go crazy if i don’t go crazy tonight

there’s a part of me in the chaos that’s quiet

and there’s a part of you that wants me to riot

everybody needs to cry or needs to spit

every sweet tooth needs just a little hit

every beauty needs to go out with an idiot

how can you stand next to the truth and not see it

oh, how a change of heart comes slow

it’s not a hill, it’s a mountain

as you start out to climb

do you believe me or are you doubting

we’re gonna make it all the way to the light

but i know i’ll go crazy if i don’t go crazy tonight

every generation gets a chance to change the world

pity the nation that won’t listen to your boys and girls

’cause the sweetest melody is the one we have’nt heard

is it true that perfect love drives out all fear

the right to appear ridiculous is something i hold dear

oh, but a change of heart comes slow

it’s not a hill, it’s a mountain

as you start out to climb

listen for me, i’ll be shouting

we’re gonna make it all the way to the light

but you know i’ll go crazy, if you don’t go crazy tonight

baby,baby, baby

i know i’m not alone

baby, baby, baby

i know i’m not alone

it’s not a hill, it’s a mountain

as you start out to climb

listen for me, i’ll be shouting

shouting to the darkness

squeeze out sparks of light

you know we’re gonna go crazy

you know we’ll go crazy

you know we’ll go crazy if we don’t go crazy tonight

oh, slowly now

oh, be slow